Only Stupid People Win The Lottery

BACKGROUND:

The NYTimes philosophy blog has a piece called Philosophy and Faith, offering the following as a "philosophical argument" for the validity of faith:  "An answer may lie in work by philosophers as different as David Hume, Ludwig Wittgenstein, and Alvin Plantinga.  In various ways, they have shown that everyday life is based on “basic” beliefs for which we have no good arguments. There are, for example, no more basic truths from which we can prove that the past is often a good guide to the future, that our memories are reliable, or that other people have a conscious inner life."

SUBSTANCE:

Comparing religious faith to other commonly held faiths, such as faith in one's wife, or faith in humanity, doesn't show that it's rational to believe in God; it simply demonstrates the near universality of irrational thinking, meaning religion is no stupider than the other bullshit around which people base their lives.  This means that the most intellectually sophisticated comeback against an agnostic is, "well I think you're stupid too" - a statement that, while usually true, is a bit of an ad hominem non sequitur.  Sort of like when you have a couple of hideous gorgons arguing by calling each other ugly:  the fact that the one is disgusting doesn't make the other more attractive, and seeing the two of them together, debating as though it does, might actually compound the laughable heinousness of their appearance.

As a devout agnostic in all things, I have no absolute faith in humanity, in inductive reason, or in any sort of God.  However, I'm willing to go through the motions, pretending I believe wholeheartedly in the goodness of man and acting as though the laws of physics will undoubtedly hold, just because they're the best percentage bets available.  When you do the same thing with God, it's called Pascal's Wager, but I've heard He doesn't honor your winnings when you make that play.  As is often the case, the first step is to lie to yourself, so that you're being "honest" with everyone else; for some, this is easier said than done.

More Dirty Apes

BACKGROUND:
This article in Wired talks about how controlling soot might be an easy, effective way to curtail a significant amount of global warming.  Supposedly, the unforgivable blackness of soot causes it to absorb the sun's rays, heating up the atmosphere.  When soot falls onto glaciers, the increased absorption melts the snow, exposing the darker colored ground, causing a vicious cycle of increasing warmth.  Some estimates said that soot accounts for a quarter of the warming trend.

Soot only stays in the atmosphere for a few weeks, so theoretically, if we could get everyone to curtail their soot emissions (which is supposedly feasible using filters and the like), the trend could begin reversing very quickly, possibly dropping temperatures by a full degree Fahrenheit within 15 years.  That would erase half the warming that's occurred since the Industrial Revolution.

SUBSTANCE:
It's hard to get any one country to agree to limit CO2 because CO2 is almost entirely an externality:  the benefits of emitting it are enjoyed primarily by the polluting country, while the destructive costs are shared equally by people all around the world.  Soot, while contributing to global warming, also shits up the polluting country by making everything look like Pittsburgh. This means a given country will be more willing to acquiesce on soot than CO2.  No one really wants to live in Pittsburgh, so common selfishness will save the day.   But seriously, quit shitting up the planet with your motherfucking soot.

The Pittsburgh skyline, like Pittsburgh women, is best viewed in a haze.

The Other Brain

When I hear them talk about how apes attack their enemies, when they describe how the first thing the ape does is tear the person's genitals off, my cock and balls experience psychosomatic sympathy pains.  This only seems to happen with the gonads; when I hear about a guy getting hit in the head with a tire iron, I don't all of a sudden get a migraine.  This is because, like the ape, my cock and balls instinctively know what's important in life.

Deal With The Devil

A scientist Christian attempts to create an artificial womb using cow parts and spare tires, to allow fetuses to survive after being removed from their mothers.  The scientist hopes this will prevent abortions, not by keeping the babies alive, but because the legal reasoning behind Roe v. Wade dictates that you can only abort a fetus if it would die outside of the mother.  The cow womb would make fetuses technically viable without the mother within the first week of pregnancy, meaning almost no babies could legally be aborted.

The scientist Christian hates abortion because he hates when people try to "play God"; being only semi-retarded, he realizes that his artificial womb is also playing God, so his intention is to invent the womb, use it once to prove that it works, then destroy the machine after abortion is outlawed.  His plan works perfectly, until he discovers the unintended consequences of his passion:  the scientist, a fun-loving bachelor living fast in the big city, has to raise the baby he grew in the cow machine.

Will he learn to live with this little demon, or will he end up changing his mind about abortion?  One thing's for sure:  he'll find out what it means to deal with the devil!

Starring Eddie Murphy and Jonathan Lipnicki.  Directed by Tyler Perry.  Rated PG.

"That kid is gonna end up killing me..."

A Place To Call Home

I'm watching "Get It Sold", which is one of those dumbass real estate shows on HGTV.  These realty experts keep telling various home-sellers that there's not enough closet space in the master bedrooms.  These are all walk-in closets, but apparently they need to have to have enough room for your cato kaelin.

As a society, where have we been storing this guy for the last 15 years?

I suppose it makes sense though, because the precise demographic that overpays for high-sheen polished-turd real estate is the exact same group of superficial, materialistic doucherags that blow half their money on clothes.  It's interesting when the demographic for one phenomenon almost perfectly overlaps with that of another.  You often hear warnings that you can get crabs from tanning beds; fortunately, most of the people who use tanning beds already have crabs anyway.

Where will Lebron land?

I'm going to admit to having only recently purchased Empire State of Mind.  Jay-Z's verses are pretty half-assed, but I had a hankering to hear Alicia Keys on the hook, one part in particular.  Basically, I payed $1.29 to hear a hot chick say to me "There's nothing you can't do".  What's pathetic is that it's not even a sex thing.

 Not sure why she does this weird half-squat thing.  It may be a sign that she's amassed too much power, and that she's surrounded by people who are afraid to tell her the truth.

I Want My Money Back

If some sheister was selling people a product by claiming it would give them infinite happiness and eternal life, wouldn't the FDA or some sort of consumer protection agency step in and shut those fuckers down? 

Yet you never see this happen to religion.  Maybe that's because those particular con-men also claim they don't want to get laid, which is somehow supposed to make them more believable and trustworthy.

Why the fuck is this thing made out of gold?  If there was some homeless guy shaking an extravegant pimp cup encrusted with diamonds, I'd ask him to buy me lunch.