The Ultimate In Status

If I ever become wealthy, I'm not going to be one of these rich assholes who rides in the back, with the chauffeur up front next to an empty seat.

I'm going to ride shotgun, and treat my chauffeur with respect; I'm not going to be like these other douchebags, who hire these lepers that they have to keep at a distance.  I'm going to hire someone who's actually cooler than myself, then when I get in the car, I'll ask him where we're going. 

I won't look down on him, if anything, he'll feel sorry for me, but this is a good thing, because it means he'll tell me about parties and try to get me laid.  But I draw the line at being his designated driver.

This is probably one of my more pathetic fantasies.