Take the offensive...and make it work!

There's a gay marriage case that's probably going to the Supreme Court, its too boring to follow, but it sounds like the conservative defendants are actually making the following arguments:

Marriage is only for the purposes of procreation.
They should make women get divorces when they hit menopause; this is because we need more mouths to feed.

The gays would cheapen the institution of marriage.
We give financial incentives to people to get married, but this doesn't cheapen the institution, it classes-up prostitution.  Case closed.

A majority of Americans support civil unions, but not gay marriage.  It seems like the real reason they're against gay marriage is semantic, they find the words obscene. Since that's the case, its time to be proactive; lets take the offensive...and make it work:

Make it work... 

1)  Gay marriage announcements should only appear in the alternative newspaper, you know, that one that has swearing in it.

2)   If the wedding services are to be held outdoors, they should be held on beach volleyball courts behind sports bars.  It seems like society is OK with swearing in those places, and the fencing calls to mind the free-speech zone.

Very butch.

3)  Before 10 pm on broadcast television, the gays will not refer to their "husbands", instead they should use euphemisms, such as "buttlover".

 

 Yeah!