Things Fall Apart

There's gonna be another season of Jersey Shore, the question is: can it possibly out-do itself?

The answer is no; the first season took things so close to the brink, if Season Two takes it any further, the threshold will be crossed and the show will self-destruct.  Look at what happened with Megan Wants A Millionaire; its good to have a narcissistic douchebag in the cast, but if you have a narcissistic douchebag who murders someone, they can't air the program. 

Here are a few cases where things got so good they almost went bad: 

Domestic Abuse, Female-on-Male: 

 

 JWoww hits The Situation with a spinning backfist because he wouldn't walk her up to the hotel room.   We can all laugh about this now, because as we learned on the reunion show, The Situation has "learned his lesson".  But what if he hadn't learned?  What if he'd embarrassed her again, might she have stabbed him in the neck?

Domestic Abuse, Male-on-Female:

Ronnie pushes Sammi Sweetheart on the boardwalk.  This wasn't very abusive, as far as guido culture goes, but knowing Sammi, if it had been any worse, she probably would have had him arrested as a test to see if his love would endure.  If Ronnie had been in jail, we would have been deprived of some great work.

Woman-Hitting:

 They say this guy punched Snookie in the face; this was a crisis narrowly averted because if he'd hit her the way he probably wanted to, she would have died.  This punch was the best thing that could have happened to her, the next punch might be the worst.

Public Indecency:

If she takes it any further next season, she'll get almost no actual exposure.  As an exhibitionist, she needs to understand that getting blurred prevents her from being seen.

 Self-Defense:

 

"One Shot, Bro."  Ronnie practices the Bush Doctrine; he runs a block-and-a-half out of his way just to punch a drunk in the face, then pitches it as proactive self-defense.  He says he had to send a message to the world because he doesn't want to have enemies walking around. 

When neurotic behavior goes beyond whats socially acceptable, it becomes mental illness; Angelina's an example of the clinically diagnosable psycho-bitch.  She crossed the threshold and got sent home, which was for the best considering her maniacal cock-blocking, but the show can withstand only so many ejections before things spin out of control.

Actually, maybe Season Two could embrace the chaos and turn itself into a Survivor-type show, but instead of voting people off, they just wait for everyone to self-destruct.  Perhaps the cast can out-do itself by doing itself in.