Financial Innovation

If you're like most creative types, you've probably at one point or another, set your mind to the following task: "I've got to find some way to get paid for being broke."

Unemployment can have its benefits, but those only pay out for a couple of months, then you have to look for a more reliable gig; this is about when you come to a sad realization, that being a literal "jerk-off" is not a viable career:  most potheads don't have viable sperm.  You're left with only one real option: becoming an artist.

As an artist, you won't make any actual money, but due to "creative accounting", you'll be able to write-off your do-nothing lifestyle as an investment in your new career.  In order to become an artist, you must first live like an artist; because you already have no job, and no money, by making this career choice, you can magically make assets out of your abundant liabilities.

• By not paying your bills, you've paid your dues.
• By getting drunk with your last $20, you've developed your resume.
• By going deep into debt, you've gained valuable credibility. 
• By failing to groom yourself, you've dressed for success.
• By falling victim to your own ineptitude, you've become a heroic figure, a struggling artist who suffers for his work.

Getting a new job is a difficult task, but as an artist, instead of looking for work, you're finding your voice; this is known as a "process", meaning each failure can be counted as a step on the meandering path to success. That's what's beautiful about the path to success, there's no such thing as a step in the wrong direction, at the same time, its important to remember this:  no one ever got a book deal by going around Mount Everest.

If you want to write a decent memoir, or author a compelling self-mythology, its best to ram into life's obstacles head-on, then somehow, against all odds, climb up and over that insurmountable but otherwise avoidable barrier to success.  This means that, along with your general listlessness and ineptitude, you should choose to make some really big mistakes, perhaps a drug addiction.  Every artist needs an unneeded necessity or two; in this line of work, there's nothing more productive than being utterly frivolous. 

To put it bluntly:  if you're going to be lazy, if you're going to be jobless and irresponsible, do the prudent thing and make it a career decision.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to my work.

 "Get paid to do what you love, and your work won't feel like a job." - High School Guidance Counselor