Moved to Inaction

If you're a truly lazy man, the only thing that'll get you out of bed is the lure of something even less productive than just laying there.  For that reason, the lazy man's alarm clock is either morning wood and the urge to masturbate, or marijuana withdrawal and the urge to wake and bake; in extreme cases, you might need two alarm clocks, in other words, the "toke and stroke".

You could argue that the ultimate lazy man would never have to leave his bed, because the night before, he'd set it up so he had both weed and pornography within arms reach; that would require both foresight and initiative, which disqualify you from the laziness discussion.  It's like saying "if you were truly lazy, you'd pick up some extra shifts and start squirreling away for an early retirement".  This type of thinking is absurd on its face, and it reeks of inauthenticity.

 The mythical recliner/toilet/(minifridge not pictured), this is not the mindframe of a true lazy man, this is a poseur's attempt, like someone's dad trying to be cool by rapping.