So yeah, I'm a little late to the party on this, but that's fitting: I just gotta say that Gore won an Oscar and a Nobel Prize for telling people a bunch of shit they already know. His whole goal was to change people's minds, but the only people who'll listen to him are liberals who already agree. No self-respecting ignoramus is going to spend $10 to watch a dork they voted against give a depressing lecture about something they don't want to confront; the inconvenient truth is that Gore's whole approach was almost perfectly designed to alienate his target audience.
That actually looks like a cool movie.
Gore's greatest failing has always been his inability to connect with the common dullard, that's why he "lost" in 2000, and why this "great success" of a movie should be considered a failure; the prizes he won for it weren't awarded by the American populous, they were given to him by The Hollywood Elite, and the Norwegian Intelligensia - not exactly swing voters. Gore needs to take a whole different approach and focus on reaching the climate-change-deniers he so badly wants to convert.
First of all, Gore is persona non grata among the target demo, he might actually be one of the least qualified human beings for the job of speaking to these morons. Instead you either need someone they identify with, like Adam Carolla, or someone they want to fuck/cuddle/fuck, like Hayden Pannatiere. I'm going to go with Hayden, when you find something beautiful, you can't help but care.
Damn.
Every time I watch a nature show, there's all this gorgeous scenery, then at some point, the narrator starts talking about how mankind is ruining everything; this is when I quickly change the channel, I simply can't tolerate hearing all the bad things we're doing. There are probably a lot of people who feel the same way, who'd go out of their way to avoid hearing it. For that reason, Gore had a terrible business model, of asking ignoramuses to pay to hear depressing facts. Instead, ignoramuses should be forced to pay to not hear to depressing facts.
Gore should put together a commercial for Hulu, starring Hayden Pannatiere, standing among a managerie of exotic species, before a backdrop of beautiful rainforest. But then she starts listing depressing facts about how rapidly we're destroying the planet:
- "According to the World Resources Institute, more than 80 percent of the Earth’s natural forests already have been destroyed." - National Geographic
- "Global warming may drive a quarter of land animals and plants to the edge of extinction by 2050." - New Scientist
- "When you pollute, it makes the Baby Jesus cry." - Knoxville News
As she's doing this, the adorable animals around her are dropping dead, the forest is blackening to ash, all the while, her face is aging and her voice is changing, and she gradually becomes Hilary Clinton. Using Web 3.4 technology, the viewers would have the option of donating money in order stop the depressing facts and the hideous aging process: if they don't pay up, they'll have to see that commercial every time they watch Hulu, if they do pay up, they'll instead be treated to a cute girl playing with funny animals. The revenues could be used to buy rainforests or to win elections. We could save the planet, not by trying educate the ineducable, but by allowing people to stick their heads in the sand...for a price.
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