Admit You Have a Problem

Bill Simmons keeps talking about how Kevin Garnett has aged a decade in the past two years, and how "The Kid" won't admit it to himself.  Similarly, a lot of people say Michael Jordan tarnished his legacy by coming back; even though he was still good enough to be an All Star, they nonetheless think he was delusional.

The aging athlete who can't call it quits is such a common trope that its become a cliche, but if the guy can still earn a spot on the roster, why should he be forced to retire?  Maybe the problem isn't that the old jock is in denial, maybe its that the public wants to be shielded from the truth that everyone gets old. 
 
These washed-up NBA players should have the option to officially declare themselves old.  They'd go down to the league office and sign a document to register themselves; they wouldn't have to sacrifice any rights or legal standing, but they'd be admitting to the public (and themselves) that they're not the same as they used to be, proving they're not in denial.  By formally letting go of their pride, they could regain some dignity.

This is sort of like the whole celebrity rehab thing, where all they have to do is admit they have a problem, and then everyone forgives them.  Its a really advanced form of apology, where you acknowledge guilt while simultaneously painting yourself as a victim.  You accept the blame, but assign it all to a tiny little part of yourself (known as the addiction).  You then go into hiding for awhile, and when you emerge, you claim that the addiction has been excised, and your public image has magically been rehabilitated. 

 

In Japan, the Yakuza have to actually remove part of their pinky; in the US, taking eight weeks off at a luxury spa is considered an adequate penance.  The important thing, though, is acknowledging the problem.

If the athletes were allowed to formally accept that they have an aging problem, the public (out of the celebrity rehab social convention) would be forced to accept the athlete and therefore their own mortality.  The jocks would serve as positive role models for these middle-aged children, to show them that putting your head under the covers doesn't make the spectre of death disappear.