Ecosystem of Golf

Jim Nantz was on The BS Report, which was surprising because Simmons has been talking a lot of shit about him, making a lot of jokes about the golf announcer's sexual attraction to both Fred Couples and the Augusta National course.  Of course, Simmons himself has a bit of a boner for both Larry Bird and the Boston Red Sox, so these two are kindred spirits; rather than covering their subjects with journalistic indifference, they actually give a shit to an unhealthy degree, much to the amusement of the reading and viewing public.

There are probably worse religions than following the Red Sox.

During the podcast, they brought up the topic of Tiger Woods swearing during last weekend's Masters. After a bad shot off the tee, he said "Tiger Woods, you SUCK! God dammit!"  If you haven't seen it, you should check out the video here, its a revealing glimpse into what a gay nerd this guy really is.

Nantz was not pleased about Tiger desecrating the sacred game of golf, and on The BS Report, he went on a mini-tirade, with some real passion in his voice:  "I just don't need language that to me is unacceptable...and people say 'ah, you guys and golf, you don't get it man, have you ever been to a basketball or a football game?' Well of course I have!...but that's just not part of the decorum of the game (of golf)."

As an outside observer, I'm usually opposed to this type of media Puritanism, but Nantz expresses his indignation with such zeal that I have to give him a free pass.  He has such a vested emotional interest that he has actually become part of the game itself; in a way, he's part of the ecosystem of golf, and a viewer can appreciate both the existence and defilement of the rigid institutions of the game at the same time.

Without uptight people like Nantz, there can be no "you suck, goddammit" controversy.  Without the Augusta country club's racist history, there can be no black-man-who-overcomes narrative.  The traditions are golf's sacred ungulates, and Tiger is the beast that preys on the herd, feeding off it while keeping it from suffocating itself with its own stuffiness; if you don't have both, you can't have a Circle of Life, and we'd all miss out on a niece piece of entertainment.

 Look at Scar, what an aloof asshole, but still, without him there would be no Lion King.

Where you get into trouble is when you have outsiders coming in and interfering with the ecosystem, throwing everything out of balance.  In pioneer days, the white man came in and killed all the the buffalo, taking their hides and leaving the meat to rot; they didn't care about the ecosystem of the plains, they just wanted to make a quick buck.  In the sports world, the outsiders are guys like Skip Bayless, guys who don't actually give a shit, but who pretend to care just so they can get some quick ratings. 

Pile of buffalo skulls, 1870.  This is an Around The Horn level of overkill.

If you're a journalist, you need to either stay neutral and make your observations from a distance, or you need to go native like Simmons and Nantz, where any impact you might have is out of a personal investment in the sport.  Don't be like Bayless and stick your face in, just to advance your own self interest.